Winning the PIston Cup!

So I found this old post, that somehow never got posted from May 25, 2011 (a year and a half ago).  Although it is late - it was too funny not to post:

So Nathan loves Cars. If you haven't seen the movie, do! In it, the cars are racing to win the Piston Cup. So whenever we want Nathan to hurry, we always tell him "Hurry, so you can win the Piston Cup!"

So the other day, Nathan decided to join Ryan in the restroom. They were both relieving themselves at the same time, and Nathan finishes and yells "I won the Piston Cup of Peeing!".

Holiday Greetings

Yes, I said Holiday.  I do get annoyed when they call it a Holiday Tree (come on now - it's a Christmas Tree), but I don't get annoyed when people say Happy Holidays, because it encompasses everything - Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, etc.  And having friends from all walks of life and a variety of religious beliefs (including Jewish and Athiest), I do say Happy Holidays when it is a vast greeting.  I wanted to share my Annual letter, even though it is not all inclusive, since it had to cover two years.   Here it is:

Dear Family and Friends,

Here’s what we’ve been up to these last two busy and CRAZY years (2011 & 2012).

Emeryl has become an expensive teenager.  She was a Student Ambassador to Australia for 17 days, got contacts, braces and an iPhone.  She pays for her iPhone by babysitting and doing office work.  She is currently homeschooling for 9th grade, and doing kickboxing with Debbie.  She still is an avid reader/writer; and loves swimming.

Lucy ended up having brain surgery in 2011 to remove one tumor, and had to undergo therapy to walk again after that.  She continues to see doctors in Utah, as well as regular MRI's to monitor the remaining tumors.  She had a growth spurt, lost several teeth, and continues to make new friends wherever she goes.  She is enjoying her first year of middle school in the 6th grade.  She is still a foodie, and loves animals, ladybugs, cooking and anything sweet.

Abigail continues to do amazingly in school, and had an exciting year turning 8, and being baptized.  She also started soccer, playing both outdoor, then indoor; and loving both!  Ryan has to tell her there is NO skipping in soccer.  She has a lean, athletic body, huge hazel eyes, and, like Lucy, has lost several teeth.  She is in 3rd grade now, and is always sharing her hugs with everyone around her.  She still skips around with a smile, humming as she goes.  She loves everything soccer, Barbie, princess and arts & crafts.

Nathan started “real” school with all day kindergarten this year.  He has an amazing ability in math and attention to detail.  He is currently OBSESSED with electronics (iPad, iPhone, DSi, etc.).  He loves to play with his friends and sisters, building and anything to do with transportation (cars, planes, trains, etc.). 

Esther was supposed to start preschool this year, but that didn’t work out – so instead she is attached to Debbie all the time (which makes getting anything done next to impossible).  She has no volume control, and talks all day.  She charms everyone around her, and loves to ask strangers “What’s your name”, then follows with “Nice to meet you (whatever their name is)”.  She loves her Boo Bear, Bubble Guppies, dancing, drawing, “helping” and getting into things, and everything must be PINK.

Debbie is very busy with working from home, taking care of her Mom and 5 kids, serving as 1^st Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency at church (our women’s group), kickboxing, housework, laundry, errands, bills, temple work, etc.  She had a few skin cancer surgeries this year, and is now on their “frequent flier” program for biopsies.  She looks forward to the day she has a few free moments to possibly pick back up scrapbooking, do beading, organizing, baking, and having lunch occasionally with friends.

Ryan is constantly busy with work – doing video and assisting Gary with appraisals.  He plays pickle ball every Thursday, and might join a soccer team next year.  He still loves soda, anything MAC, soda, sleep, did we mention soda?

Debbie’s Mom broke her hip, and had surgery; then we found out she had liver disease and liver cancer.  We got her on the transplant list, then the cancer spread, and she was no longer eligible for transplant.  It has been two years of roller coaster emotions, fundraising, tons of trips to San Francisco, tests, etc.  She is terminal, and on limited time.  She moved in permanently with us, and also has a room at Tanya’s house which she visits often.  For details see our blog at:  (www.rynosherd.blogspot.com)

Our travels have included (but aren’t limited to), Disneyland, a Stokes Family Reunion in Utah (where Debbie also saw her friends Scobey and Carrianne – and Lucy saw her doctors), Oregon (to visit family and friends, and spend this Thanksgiving with Grandma and Grandpa Cline – where Ryan cooked the traditional “Grandma” Thanksgiving meal), Australia (for Emmie), Hawaii, Palos Verdes and San Diego (for Ryan and Debbie), and more.

Our hearts and prayers go out to family and friends who have experienced loss these past few years (the passing of loved ones, jobs, storm damages etc.).  We know the value of time with loved ones and the difficulty of trails.  We are so grateful, beyond what mere words can convey, for loving family and friends, and the many blessings we enjoy daily.  We are grateful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, and this wonderful time of year to celebrate His birth.  For our friends of all faiths and walks of life, we love you and wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a blessed New Year.  You are forever in our thoughts, hearts and prayers.

With love,

Ryan, Debbie, Emmie, Lucy, Abigail, Nathan and Esther

Yes, no news was good news

Sorry it has been so long since my last post.  I have been so busy with travel, kids and Mom.  As I said before, no news is good news; and Mom has been doing great.  A year ago, we were told Mom had 6-12 months left, but plan closer to the 6 months.  Now, 1 year later, doctors are amazed at Mom's health.  She is doing better than she was a year ago.  They are attributing that to the strict care that Tanya and I are giving to Mom. 
This has been very difficult for all three of us, since Mom is an independent woman, night owl, and foodie.  There are many looking from the outside, who have thought that Tanya and I are harsh and too strict with enforcing Mom's diet and schedule.  They don't understand that Mom's mental capacity has become like a little child - yet she doesn't even realize it herself.  Her temperament and attitude also have changed (people with liver disease get very mean and stubborn), yet she doesn't behave that way around others; so people don't understand the situations we experience "behind the scenes" of what they see.
The results of our tough love, are that Mom is alive, not bedridden, and doing better than she was a year ago.  She is able to travel, visit with people she loves, and finish life long goals.  We have been able to have her with us longer than the doctors thought possible.  Unfortunately, it also means a lot of fighting and heartache to keep her on track.  Tanya nor I want to fight with her, but were willing to do what the doctor asked us to, to keep her healthy and alive.
When the doctor told Mom that due to our strict care, she now could live 2-3 years or more - this did not make Mom happy.  She did not want to live that long if she had to stay on a schedule and specific diet.  After much discussion and heartache, she has informed her doctor that she wants him to do all he can to keep her alive and mobile as long as possible; however, she is going to take back her control of eating what she wants, having her own sleeping schedule, etc.  The doctor was heartbroken and told her that she didn't have the mental clarity anymore to make her own decisions wisely, and it was a mistake that would come with severe consequences.  He also told her that he didn't feel that she should be making this decision due to the confusion and mental incapacity's that she experiences which come with the disease (she has memory loss, no sense of time, confusion, etc - but doesn't realize the extent of it herself), but that he had to leave that up her.
She says that depending on how it goes, she may go back to having Tanya and I control her schedule and diet again; but she will decide that.  She has decided that when she becomes bedridden from her choices, that she wants us to put her in a nursing home for the last little bit of her life.
It will be hard for Tanya and I to watch this, since we know that some of her wrong choices will be from lack of will power, while others will be due to lack of understanding (confusion).  While I am heartbroken that she will shorten her time with us, I also feel that I would rather have 3 months of enjoying her, than 3 years of fighting with her.  I wish I could have 3 years of her making the right choices on her own, keeping her quality of health and quantity of time - but I have to respect her wishes and choices.
Since she still wants the doctors to do all they can, we will still have trips to San Francisco, scans, treatments, etc.  She also wants to have surgery on her knee to remove that screw that is too long, which now causes her a lot of pain since there is no muscle, just skin rubbing against the screw on either side.
This has been a very difficult post for me, as I am NOT eloquent of speech or pen, and always seem to put my foot in my mouth, and offend without any desire or intention to do so.  It is such a touchy situation, and I mean no disrespect to my Mother, whom I love dearly.  I hope I have relayed the information in a sensitive way, with all the love I have for her.  One day I hope to have time to post the light and cute things my children do and say.  For example, the other day Emmie asked Esther what her favorite color was, and Esther said "Pink".  Emmie then asked what her other favorite color was, to which Esther replied "darker pink".  I love my Mom, my kidlings, and my husband!

The answer is No :-(

So we went back to SF for a few days, to have another scan done, and see Mom's doctor.  After taking it to the Liver Transplant Team, they have decided to give an absolute no for putting Mom back on the transplant list.There reason her doctor was still fighting to get her back on the list, despite her issues that prohibit her from being on the transplant list were as such.  He said that the care that Tanya and I have given to Mom is off the charts incredible.  He couldn't believe how well she was doing for how low her numbers are.  He also said that the cancer invading one side of her liver was still pretty much the same as three months ago.  Also, her liver and kidneys are functioning very well still.
The reasons he couldn't get the team to even give her more time, or another chance was two fold.  First of all her weight is way too low.  Her BMI was below the allowed amount.  Secondly, there is a second tumor, that is in the other side of her liver.  That tumor was small and not doing anything, so they just ignored it before.  However, now it has grown, and is becoming active.  It is still fairly small, but with the growth and activity, combined with the other tumor being an invasive cancer (as opposed to a single mass) is what kicked her off permanently.
They said that there is no way of knowing how long she has at this point, because doctors can always be wrong in these situations.  So it could be as long as 6-12 months with good care and Mom doing all she should.  Or it could be as short as a month or two.
Mom is doing fine with the news, and her biggest concern is when she can begin eating what she wants!  The problem is that the worse her eating habits, the faster she will decline.  She has agreed to stick with her eating plan at least for another month, until we have our trip to Disneyland at the end of June.  After that, we will see what happens.
I will keep you updated - and again, thank everyone for their love and support through this roller coaster we have been on.  And a huge thank you to everyone who offered to let us use their donations for Mom's continued care and funeral plans.  She wants to have just one graveside service and be buried in Grants Pass, OR.  We have already begun to get everything in order, and are getting as much of that paid for as possible right now, which wouldn't have been possible without your help!  Thank you, thank you!

Mom moved, and was in the hospital - twice!

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but we have been very busy moving Mom in with us.  She was going to live with Tanya, because she has more space and cleared her schedule to care for Mom.  However, because of how Medical and Medicare works, Mom couldn't leave the county - or it would change her benefits and doctors.  It was very sad for Mom to leave her home at the Dold's - she really loved it there.  It was also hard for her to go through all of her things, and decide what to keep and what to get rid of.  Unfortunately for me, she couldn't decide very well - so I now have a garage, living room, dining room, entry way and Mom's bedroom full of bins and boxes.  It looks like a hoarders house around here - but we will get through all of that!  Thanks to the loving help of Tina, Amy, Katy, and Cindie - we were able to be out of the house on time.
See, Mom decided we didn't have enough excitement, so on Sunday, April 29th, we had to take Mom to the hospital, because she was extra confused, shaky, etc.  We had trouble getting a blood pressure reading, and when we finally did, it was way too low.  So they admitted her, and found it was a lot of small things together causing the problem.  Mom doesn't want me to share the details, except to say that her body wasn't functioning properly.  So the next day they released her, and we got home about 5:30pm, and got her settled at home - then we went to her old house to finish moving things from the shed, yard and to clean.  That is where the loving help of Tina Becker, Cindie Blodgett and Amy & Katy Sellers saved us!  They had come during the day and did almost all of the cleaning!!  All we had left were the neurotic finishing touches we always do (washing walls, moving out the fridge and cleaning behind it, vacuuming (there wasn't a good vacuum there for them), and blinds.  Thank you so much for heaven's angels on earth!!  Because of their loving service, we weren't there until 2 am cleaning!  I was actually in bed by 10:30pm that night!
However, Mom began having issues again - so I brought her back to the hospital the next day.  They admitted her again, and ended up moving her to ICU.  They gave her plasma, more fluids and did some more tests.  Again, Mom doesn't want any details given - except that she is doing fine now, with the exception of having the ascites back again.  She forgot how miserable it was, and although she isn't nearly as huge as she used to get, she still looks pregnant (just not 9 months with triplets)!  They filled her with fluids, and dropped down one of her water pills, because they felt it was dehydrating her too much, which was causing the blood pressure issues.  We are working on finding a balance to all that again.
So, now, if anyone wants to send a note to Mom, you can send it to my house.  You don't have to put a "c/o" on it - just address it to her, and it gets here just fine.
Next week we will be going to San Francisco, to have the scan that will decide if she gets back on the list or not!  We will be in San Francisco on Monday and Tuesday - and then the doctor will be presenting everything to the board on Wednesday.  So we should have a final answer by Thursday.  I'll blog again when we have an update!  Until then....have a wonderful Mother's Day coming up, and be extra nice to your Mommy - life is short, we all make mistakes, but love....love is eternal!

Indiana said no :-(

So we got a call from Dr. Frederick today with bad news. The team in Indiana reviewed Mom's case, and they are not willing to take her. This is sad, because they are one of the most liberal at taking higher risk patients - so if they said no, it isn't good for other centers either. So at this point, we have to wait another 2 months, and then Mom will have a CT scan. If it looks the same or better, they will put her back on the list in San Francisco, but if not, then they will just let us know how long (at their best guess), that we can expect her to live.
They are not going to continue the radiation treatments, even though Mom did extremely well with them. This is because they are not sure if what they are thinking could be the cancer spreading is actually inflamed cells from the treatments. So, if that is the case, then by avoiding radiation the inflamed cells will calm down, and it will show on the CT scan, thereby putting her back on the list.
When the time for the CT scan comes closer, she will be having a priesthood blessing, and we will be asking those who are able and willing to fast and pray for her. We will keep you updated - but for now, it will most likely be no news for a few months.
Thanks again for all your love and support, prayers and well wishes! We love you all and appreciate you so!

Happy Birthday Nathan!

Nathan is 5 today! He has opted out of his birthday party, and instead wants to fly in a plane for his birthday. So we are scheduling a flight for him. The pilot was unable to do it today - so it will most likely be next week. Nathan is still obsessed with all things boy! Cars, planes, trains, building, destroying, etc. He is the typical annoying little brother to his older sisters, getting into their things, harassing them; and an amazing, protective and loving big brother to Esther. She just lights up when he comes home from school. He plays with her, shares with her, talks with her, and sneaks with her! He does have a mind of his own that is always ticking, scheming, thinking, planning and contemplating! He is very loving, funny and intelligent! We are so grateful to have him in our family! We love you Nathan, Happy Birthday!!